Mom and MasterChef

I'm spending my time home these days, when you are kind of struck between classes and studies and a fatigue sets in, you really want some kind of entertainment.And for me there is exactly 2 sources one is MasterChef ,which according to my family is prohibited show as they show non veg during dinner time :P and also because it clashes with the endless radhika serials that have been telecasted in TV ever since I was born, and the other source of entertainment is my mom.She has this theory behind everything that is not pleasing behind everything I like.
A few days back, in MasterChef she saw people cook, of which I am sure she didn't even know what the ingredients were, she said "idhu enna periya pramadhama, naanum ippidi 2 beans,2 apple,2 layer cabbage pottu honey mela pottu kudupaen, nee sapduviya?" and if the people who were cooking heard that they would have really cried, she thinks they are cooking unnecessarily. She has started hating those programs because I ask her to learn the way and the dish they cook. The other day, she said she is going to apply for MasterChef Australia, and I asked her why...she said "I'm going to make rasam,sambar, curd rice, roti, daal,kaai"..and those idiots will eat and say "Wow..its very delicious" . or May be I can do idly...starting from how to take the flour till how to eat...".All this so that I will at one point stop watching this show.The very next day, she brings in a plate pf paniyaram neatly arranged in a plate and decorated the plate with curry leaves and fruits and she says "I have cooked like Emma (the only girl she knows in that show)".I reply back saying "why are there unnecessary things on my plate?" she says, "that's exactly what I'm asking when they cook, why does she keep fruits when she cooks pastas???, see in reality, you can't eat them,those are camera tricks, that's why I tell you, appreciate amma's cooking of rasam and rice and pickles.." . But my grandfather has a totally different theory about this show..."He says no wonder these judges are fat,they eat up all the food and fill their stomachs and reject people, also look at them they don't give food to the people who make it....that too they yetchai pannifying the spoon and again keeping on the food, the other person also eats the same yetchai..chee, enna nalla iruku indha show...". Amidst all this I still watch this show
One day my mom, "vada kanna, food inga irukku", astonished by the sweetness in her tone I turn and look at her wondering if she really was talking to me, and not to my surprise it wasn't to me, it was a lizard, I ask her "amma, why you talking to that lizard", she says "adha edhuvum solladha, he belongs to my army...the army which fights against cockroaches!!!"...then I realised what has me and my brother being away from home done to my mom...my thatha and my mom together are raising the lizard much better than they way they take care of me and dad...And when my mom and thatha talk to lizards and watch serials, my dad sits in a room, writing some kind of accounts in Excel which he'll ultimately forget where he saved, or will keep browsing for poramboku land to invest, according to my mom he searches for lands where only wild animals exist and where there is not even a remote connection to civilisation, she says we will come in that areas' history book in early civilisation chapter..
So basically sitting at home has made me wonder if this is how my family was 5 years back when I left to hostel!!!