BrainNotNeededException because it’s COBOL.

I remember a few years back we used to start our packages a month prior to our submissions, I know you might be thinking we were insane, yes we were, what could you expect when we had to do projects in languages like COBOL. God, do people even use those languages, if they still are then we should probably wake them up and tell them time has changed and we should connect their brains to an internet and update them on the various new things in the world presently.

It was in second semester when this torturous subject was in our syllabus. Initially we thought it was an easy task to do, we all promptly started it a month prior to the submissions thinking we can finish it in a day or two and then submit it even before the last date and run away home. How wrong we were, that stupid thing just didn’t end, all of us like crazy fools took huge huge management systems as if we were gonna deploy them.

Six of us in hostel started together, only when we opened our laptops did we realize we didn't have a compiler, once we got it installed we realized we didn't know how to code. Slowly we learnt how to add 2 variables in COBOL, and then we realized we had to include procedures in the package. All of us are confused,"Damn!!why can’t we just code, why do we have to modularize it, as if it is gonna make this language any efficient or better".

By the time we started (I mean started the second time), 3 days over. We all promptly started with our work. All of a sudden, one of them out of frustration or inquisitiveness asks “By any chance was this programming language introduced even before things like space and time complexity were introduced??". As if that was a very genuine question, the rest five of us shook our heads, "NOOOOOO".

Every alternate day one of us used to bunk for doing the package, thankfully the suspension schemes were not there or probably the scheme was not for junior classes. Never have we detested coming back to room in the evening, those were the days when we really didn't wanna come back and as soon as we come we used to do a round of polambals and again promptly continue with that irritating thing, and our only consoling factor used to be that one song "Jash-ne-Bahara" which continuously would run on the loop and to take off that happiness would be those irritating errors that all of a sudden would infect our code from nowhere, the errors that even founder of COBOL cant debug because they would be errors which would occur only in Line#223 and not in Line#224,  we guys should be given Nobel Peace Award for finding those errors, fixing them and yet not throwing away our systems.

By the time, we were done with this, a new thing arises, "you need to put GUI", and all of us are like “What? Does that even exist in this language???”The creating of GUI was the worst part, it was like dressing up Paravai Muniyama as Mallika Sherawat, and I mean how it is even possible??But yes we did, by the time we submitted we were all famished and sleep deprived, and when we came back to hostel there was a wide smile on all our faces, it was good riddance expression, ultimately none of us went home cos it was not 2 days that was taken for the package but an entire month.